I have recently learned a little secret that I wish I'd figured out years ago. It took alot of mistake-making, feelings-hurting, friend-losing and self-kicking for me to finally grasp such a simple and beautiful concept. And in the end it was the example of a sweet friend of mine that finally drove the message home. It all centers around two very simple little words:I'm Sorry.
Or the even-more-humbling version:
I Screwed Up And I'm Sorry.
Cuz the harsh truth is, We All Screw Up. We're human and therefore prone to insecurity, self-centeredness and general idiocy. And so we all screw up. Surprisingly, that fact is really not that important. What's critical, is what we DO when we screw up. Do we back-track? Do we defend our idiocy? Do we pretend we're perfect and hope our idiocy just fades away? Or do we suck it up and just say it:
I Screwed Up And I'm Sorry
You'd be amazed at how freeing those words are! To admit to your mistake and do what you can to make it right seems SO HARD but once you do it, the burden off your shoulders is astounding. I've spent way too much time silently beating myself up for all the dumb mistakes I've make - (when you talk as much as I do, you tend to stick your foot in your perpetually open mouth way too often). I've lain awake at night, wracked with guilt for my inadvertant idiocy. Ripping myself to shreds with regrets.
But rarely willing to own it and fix it.
I'm finally figuring out that the more I say it, the easier it gets and the better it feels. When I genuinely apologize and work to heal the hurt I deal, I like myself alot more. I'm also realizing that I don't have to be the perfect friend, daughter, sister, wife, etc. Sure, it's good to shoot for that, but mistakes are part of life and when I fall short I don't need to hide my face. I just need those two little words and a desire to keep trying.
Why didn't someone tell me this before now?
(I know Mom, you DID tell me years ago.
And I blew you off and didn't listen.
I screwed up, and I'm sorry.)
4 comments:
Oh, those are challenging words to say. And admit to ourselves. My problem is that I sometimes say them in anger. When I really don't mean them. And I am too busy being a martyr.
lauren,
i forgive you. ;)
love, me
ps-look on my blog for a little sompin'sompin' about you.
I'm pretty good at those words. I have to use them frequently. Thanks for your thoughts. They were eloquently written.
I tell my girls that I'm learning to be a good mom/person just like they are learning to be good kids too. The learning process never ends. I tell them I'm sorry quite often. Audrey told me the other day, "No one is perfect...not mommy's or daddy's or anyone." I said, "That's right. What do you do if you make a mistake?" She said "We say were sorry and we repent." That was so comforting to know that she knew that!!!
SO TRUE! Thanks for the reminder:)
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